the unemployed lawyer.

while i could probably backtrack and tell hilarious stories of the past, i figured my dating diaries should start fresh with my blog – so as to give a realistic rundown on how exciting (or dull) my social scene is!

this story, like any great one, begins with ostriches.  camels too, in fact.  my amazing friends and i decided to make the most of the first ever exotics race in houston by drinking copious amounts of redbull/vodka and then cabbing it to the races.  the night was off to a fantastic start, and soon enough we found ourselves at kung fu after an evening of rare bird racing excitement.  while getting myself a drink at the bar, i began talking to a semi-goodlooking, 25-year old guy (let’s dub him the unemployed lawyer) who proceeded to buy my drink and talk to me all night.  we wound up returning to my group of friends (who ironically were his group, too, as he had gone to high school with some of the guys i was with) and he didn’t leave my side all night.  we played skee ball, sat outside on the patio and talked, and he asked for my number with the promise of a future date.  we ended up sharing a cab home (whereupon he kissed me in the backseat) and had a short m/o on the street while the cab waited in front of my home.  he then went off in the distance (as they all do at 2 am) while i awaited my roommate for some quality taco c, and that was that.

over the next few days i was surprisingly anxious and hoping for his call as i had such positive memories of our conversation and end of the evening.  it had turned out we knew a million people in common, he was jewish, a lawyer w/o a job (but to his defense had just taken the bar), and lived at home.  given he was my age, i figured i’d overlook the whole unemployed/living with parents thing and be thankful he was prudently saving rather than living extravagantly on his parent’s dime.  he also went to alabama (not sure how i felt about this) but again i let it slide because i had such positive memories of our conversation and his confident kiss in the backseat of the cab. *sidenote about me, i went to a fantastic liberal arts college so may be a bit of a school snob at times.  yes, it’s judgmental, but i think i have the right to be picky when it comes to dating.  we all do.

well, he ended up calling wednesday (and wow was i excited slash tipsy from an evening of kickball and celebrating my promotion at work) and we made plans for drinks thursday.  quick aside – i had dinner plans with my ex bf from hs thursday too, so ‘double booked’ the evening figuring the first half wouldn’t last too long.  well, come 9pm he arrived at my place, we walked to the railyard (neighborhood dive bar) and had a few drinks there.  conversation was easy enough, i felt i probably talked more and asked more questions, but that’s my nature and overall i’d say it went OK.  i feel badly saying this, but i was a lot less attracted to him than i’d remembered (oh drunken saturday nights!) although i still thought he seemed like a super nice guy and was sweet.  there were definitely some awkward moments – he kept chewing on his straw, resting with his hand on his chin (was he bored? tired? needed head support?) the whole night, but i sort of chalked it up to nerves.  we left around 10:45-11, he walked me back, i showed him the house (well the first two floors) and we kissed briefly on the couch.  it was good but again i wasn’t sure how much i was “feeling” this date.  most surprisingly, the kissing part was the least awkward of the night!  i actually iniated this action, as i figured we should give it another go as we had already kissed once before.  well shortly thereafter (maybe 11:20?)  i walked him out to his car and he said thanks, he had a great time.  he said he’d see me saturday (at celtic gardens, a fun bar for st pattys, where i told him i’d be).

friday i went to a hockey game with some coworkers and get a text from him around 9pm like: how is the game?  we text a little back and forth (nothing witty, mind you) and eventually he asked if i’m doing anything after the game.  i said no, as i was exhausted from my week, but again that i’d be in midtown saturday.

cut to saturday.  we went to celtic gardens (outdoor irish pub which was connected to another bar, pub fiction) and i had a great time.  however, i never saw the kid.  i heard from at least three people that he was around and had been spotted, but alas no text/word from the fantastic unemployed lawyer himself.  at one point, his friend barry manilow spotted me and said hi (barry and i went to middle school together, barely know one another, and i only recently remembered his name bc on thursday the lawyer mentioned he is one of his best friends).  so i’m chatting with barry and casually said, have you seen mr. unemployed around?  he said, straightfaced, yeah – he’s on the hunt for a girlfriend.  so of course my reaction (very confused) is like, oh ok.  [WAIT WHAT??? who says that?] so he i guess caught the dumbfounded look on my face and said, well you know, i mean he’s looking around for girls.  or something to the like.  i said, OH ok. [still shocked – again, who says that?] and i think i proceeded to tell barry that i only just met unemployed lawyer last saturday and went out with him thursday.  not sure why i divulged this great nugget of info, but perhaps it was the 20 green beers in me or i just felt like being super honest (as he clearly was about lawyer).  barry then looked kind of embarrassed and kind of backtracked, but i lost focus in the conversation and believe i walked away.

well around 7:34pm (a few hours after this interaction) i got a text from lawyer saying: which bar did you end up? (great sentence structure, btw).  I wrote back: I’m at Celtic.  (surprise surprise!).  no response.  so eventually i go to dinner  with my friends, and turn in for the night.  lovely evening.

at 12:19 am I get this text from him (why is he still texting???): How was? I was at Pub.  [like really?  what is the point of any of these texts!??!? and, more importantly, where is his grammar?]  so the next morning I wrote back something like: Great, hope you had fun.

THE END.

so to sum everything up – i’m not terribly upset at the loss of this romance, but just shocked at the lack of effort and his random texts at times.  totally not worth it, and truthfully it saves me another 1.0 situation of waiting around to decide am i really into this and sort of proceeding with something i’m not 100% into.  *will explain 1.0 later, i’m sure.

well on to the next one i say!

and so it begins.

my friends would all agree it’s about time i entered the world of blogging.  i certainly talk enough about my funny (and not so successful) dates and escapades, so i figured i’d finally write my stories down in the hopes that i – or some unassuming reader – can learn from them (or at least have a good laugh).

for starters, i am 25 years old and single.  i have a fantastic job, an incredible group of friends, and i pretty much love my life.  i am a glass-half-full kind of girl, who generally looks at the positives and loves finding humour in awkward encounters.  oh and i work for a scottish company and write all the time, so please disregard my spelling.

as far as my dating history goes – it goes back quite a bit.  i had a serious boyfriend who i loved (and hoped would be the one) for 3.5 years, but we ended things mutually last may.  i can’t believe it’s been almost a year now, but i guess getting over things takes time.  i’ll spare the details for now as i’m sure random tidbits of my past will surface as i embark on this dating frenzy (one can hope?), but i’m happy to say at this point in time, i’m glad not to be dating him.  since last may, i gave a run on match and jdate, dated a great guy (let’s dub him 1.0, will explain later) but it was much too soon, and have been on a bit of a ‘hot streak’ of late in the hookup department.  can’t say i’ve minded it, but am hoping for a bit more and would perhaps even consider myself ready for the next relationship.  we’ll see.  in the meantime, i’ve decided to give online dating another go and of course will update this with any stories (both on and off-line) i find along the way.  before i begin, i want to share an excerpt i read in mindy kaling’s hilarious novel, is everyone hanging out without me?  it’s kind of long, but i think gets the whole point of my blog:

“Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I’ll tell you why: Men scared the sh*t out of me. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before.

OK, maybe men aren’t exactly like this. But this is what I’ve cobbled together from the handful of men I know or know of, ranging from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to my dad. The point: Men know what they want, and that is scary.

What I was used to was boys.

Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who “totally knows how to cut hair.” Boys can pack up their whole life and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have “gigs.” Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.

Boys can talk for hours with you in a diner at three in the morning because they don’t have regular work hours. But they suck to date when you turn 30….

At this point you might want to smack me and say: “Are you seriously just another grown woman talking about how she wants a man who isn’t afraid of commitment?” Let me explain! I’m not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I’m talking about commitment to things—houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Paying a mortgage. When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome…..

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss. (I don’t want that, but I can handle it. I’m a grown-up too.)”

Not to be completely unoriginal, but Mindy’s except exemplifies everything I’ve felt.  Yes, boys are fantastic, but what I want (and need) is a man.  So as I go on my dates, that’s going to be just another thing I’ll be thinking about when I evaluate his career, merits, and charm.  How stable is he in life and knowing what he wants.  Because basically, that’s what I was missing and now know I want.

And on that note – I’m done.  Will update with stories as they come my way 🙂