and so it begins.

my friends would all agree it’s about time i entered the world of blogging.  i certainly talk enough about my funny (and not so successful) dates and escapades, so i figured i’d finally write my stories down in the hopes that i – or some unassuming reader – can learn from them (or at least have a good laugh).

for starters, i am 25 years old and single.  i have a fantastic job, an incredible group of friends, and i pretty much love my life.  i am a glass-half-full kind of girl, who generally looks at the positives and loves finding humour in awkward encounters.  oh and i work for a scottish company and write all the time, so please disregard my spelling.

as far as my dating history goes – it goes back quite a bit.  i had a serious boyfriend who i loved (and hoped would be the one) for 3.5 years, but we ended things mutually last may.  i can’t believe it’s been almost a year now, but i guess getting over things takes time.  i’ll spare the details for now as i’m sure random tidbits of my past will surface as i embark on this dating frenzy (one can hope?), but i’m happy to say at this point in time, i’m glad not to be dating him.  since last may, i gave a run on match and jdate, dated a great guy (let’s dub him 1.0, will explain later) but it was much too soon, and have been on a bit of a ‘hot streak’ of late in the hookup department.  can’t say i’ve minded it, but am hoping for a bit more and would perhaps even consider myself ready for the next relationship.  we’ll see.  in the meantime, i’ve decided to give online dating another go and of course will update this with any stories (both on and off-line) i find along the way.  before i begin, i want to share an excerpt i read in mindy kaling’s hilarious novel, is everyone hanging out without me?  it’s kind of long, but i think gets the whole point of my blog:

“Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I’ll tell you why: Men scared the sh*t out of me. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before.

OK, maybe men aren’t exactly like this. But this is what I’ve cobbled together from the handful of men I know or know of, ranging from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to my dad. The point: Men know what they want, and that is scary.

What I was used to was boys.

Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who “totally knows how to cut hair.” Boys can pack up their whole life and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have “gigs.” Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.

Boys can talk for hours with you in a diner at three in the morning because they don’t have regular work hours. But they suck to date when you turn 30….

At this point you might want to smack me and say: “Are you seriously just another grown woman talking about how she wants a man who isn’t afraid of commitment?” Let me explain! I’m not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I’m talking about commitment to things—houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Paying a mortgage. When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome…..

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss. (I don’t want that, but I can handle it. I’m a grown-up too.)”

Not to be completely unoriginal, but Mindy’s except exemplifies everything I’ve felt.  Yes, boys are fantastic, but what I want (and need) is a man.  So as I go on my dates, that’s going to be just another thing I’ll be thinking about when I evaluate his career, merits, and charm.  How stable is he in life and knowing what he wants.  Because basically, that’s what I was missing and now know I want.

And on that note – I’m done.  Will update with stories as they come my way 🙂

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